


Alone but not really

by ChetRoi



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Closets, Comforting, Crying, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25280113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChetRoi/pseuds/ChetRoi
Summary: Kumon hates being a burden to people. Whether it was to strangers or even to his precious family, he didn’t want to bother anyone. That’s why he fakes it until he makes it.
Relationships: Hyoudou Kumon/Izumida Azami
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70
Collections: A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020





	Alone but not really

**Author's Note:**

> Hi... I’m sorry if this is OOC... I rly do not know how to write either of them... also, ty Jin for the suggestion, this is for u

Kumon is a lot of things. He’s a loving younger brother, a supportive cousin, an actor in Mankai’s Summer Troupe. However, one thing that he wasn’t anymore was a star baseball player. Sure, he’s going to get back to that position, but that still haunted him at night sometimes. However, he made sure not to make it too obvious. He didn’t want even more people to worry about him. However, it still pricked at him internally. If only he wasn’t so weak. If only he wasn’t born like this. 

Of course, ever since Kumon acted on stage with the rest of Summer Troupe, the anxiety had gotten a lot better and he was no longer debilitated by it, but it still felt overwhelming at times. He knew that he shouldn’t feel so pressured, that people were still going to support him even if he failed, but it didn’t feel that way. All of the expectations, both from himself and from others, weighed on him. It was heavy. Too heavy. 

Still, Kumon pushed all of the negativity away. He didn’t want anyone else to worry about him again. Plus, there were now people a lot more people that he knew would support him. He’ll be fine. He should be fine. 

Every day was the usual smiles and laughter and jokes. However, sometimes Kumon didn’t feel like doing those things. Despite that, he had to troop on, he had an image to maintain and he will do just that. 

However, on some days things were just too much for Kumon. That’s how he usually ends up crying by himself in some secluded place. He knew that he could rely on others, but he didn’t want to worry or bother them. He was a big boy now, he could handle it by himself. 

Today was one of days as Kumon rushed into the storage room and shut it behind him, making sure to lock it. Nothing particularly bad happened, but things just built up and well… bottling things in never helped. School was stressful today and Kumon absolutely refuses to cry in school. Kumon had never been happier to go home

Kumon felt the tears stream down his face as he sat down on the cold floor. He was fine. He was going to be fine. Things were going to be fine. Things are going to pick up. Things are going to get resolved. 

In the midst of his crying, Kumon didn’t notice that someone was nearby. Only when the footsteps of that person got closer and closer did Kumon hear it, causing him to freeze. Why was someone here? No one was supposed to be around here. 

Kumon held his breath as the footsteps got nearer and nearer. However, as the steps passed him, Kumon let out a silent sigh of relief. Maybe, they were just walking around or something. However, the steps came back, pausing right in front of the door. Oh no. 

“Kumon, is that you in there?” Double oh no. 

Kumon really didn’t want to get caught crying by Azami, someone that was so strong, so he stayed silent. 

“Alright, let me phrase that again. Kumon, what are you doing in there?”

Triple oh no. 

Kumon cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. He really hoped that his crying voice wouldn't be too obvious. 

“I’m just…” Kumon racked his brain for a plausible explanation on why he could possibly be in the storage closet. “...vibing in here.” Nailed it. 

Kumon could practically see the eyebrow cock from Azami. “You’re just vibing in the closet huh?”

“Yep.” Wait. What? That sounds wrong. Kumon heard Azami sigh.

“Listen, I’m gonna to stop fucking around, I heard you crying. Are you okay?”

Quadruple oh no. 

“Ah. That. I wasn’t crying.” Kumon winced as his voice got a lot more defensive when he said the word crying. 

“Oh really? What were you doing then?” 

“I was just… laughing. Yeah, that’s it. Laughing.” 

“Your laughing sounds a lot different than usual.”

“So? Is there anything wrong with a different laugh?” 

“No, there’s nothing wrong with it other than the fact that I heard sniffles.” 

Quintuple oh no.

“Well, I’m sick.” Kumon winced once again the moment that those words came out of his mouth. He really should think before he says things.

“Oh really? Why weren’t you sick this morning when we went to school together? Why weren’t you sick this afternoon in class?”

Kumon sighed. “Okay, so I’m not sick.”

“Yeah, thought that should’ve been obvious as hell.” Azami’s voice softened. “Seriously though, are you okay? Do you need help with something?”

Kumon debated about whether or not he should lie again, but he decided against it. It would’ve made things worse and he didn’t want Azami to lose trust in him. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just had a bad day, that’s all.”

A long silent pause happened, before Azami cleared his throat. 

“Well, that sucks. Wanna talk about it?” 

Kumon really didn’t want to seem weak, but a part of himself really wanted some sort of comfort. The two sides of himself fought until the comfort side won. Kumon was inherently a social person. He liked people, sue him. 

“Yeah, sure. Come in.” Kumon heard the doorknob twist but no one came in. 

“It’s locked.”

Oh yeah. Kumon unlocked the door and sat back down on the floor. Just a few seconds later, Azami came in, closing the door quietly behind him. He glanced at Kumon with an unreadable expression on his face. 

“If it makes you feel better, crying doesn’t harm your skin.”

Kumon snorted at the statement. Of course, Azami would find a way to bring skincare into this.

“Thanks.” 

Azami shifted awkwardly, not moving from his spot. Kumon stared at him and Azami stared back. Maybe, he shouldn’t have listened to his people loving side. 

“So… what’s up? Why are you sad?” Azami asked awkwardly, holding the side of his arm. 

Well, Azami was trying and Kumon agreed for him to come in, so Kumon supposed that he actually had to talk about his feelings now. Kumon sighed, closing his eyes. He reopened them again and mentally prepared himself. He glanced up at Azami, who was looking at him expectantly. 

“Hey, can you sit down or something? You’re making me nervous by standing…” Kumon felt bad for asking, but he didn’t think that he could properly talk about his feelings if it felt like Azami was literally looking down on him. 

Azami silently sat down next to Kumon, looking at him to go on.

Swallowing his pride and wariness, Kumon started spilling everything to Azami.

“I don’t know… I’m happy at Mankai, I really am. I’m glad that you’re all here to support me and all, but I can still feel the expectations of others on me. It crushes me sometimes, albeit it’s a lot less than before. I try to ignore it, to only focus on being happy, but that can only last so long. Sometimes, I feel like if I fail, then you guys would leave me. I know that it’s not true, but I’m just scared. I’m scared of being alone again. I’m scared that my illness will relapse. I’m scared that I can’t meet everyone’s expectations of me.” 

Kumon was startled when he felt Azami’s hand on his shoulder. 

“Listen, fuck everyone’s expectations. You should follow your wants first and  _ then _ you factor in everyone else’s opinions. You should do shit for yourself first, not anyone else. Look at me, people don’t approve of me doing makeup, but do I give a fuck? No.”

Kumon looked down on the ground. 

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re amazing at makeup.” 

Azami frowned. “And you’re amazing at whatever it is you do too. Don’t let anyone tell you shit.” 

“I don’t know…” Kumon could feel tears forming in his eyes again.

Azami’s hand stretched out to Kumon’s face but it paused before it could reach its destination. Limply, it fell to its sides once more. 

“Listen, if anyone talks shit about you, tell me. I’ll beat their asses. I’ll get the rest of Mankai to beat their asses. No one gets away with shit talking you without at least a few bruises on them.”

“I don’t know, what if everyone finds me weak for having to rely on people?”

Azami was quiet, before he spoke up, his voice a lot softer than it usually was. 

“Hey Kumon, I used to think like that too, but I learned that you’re not weak for relying on people. You’re strong for admitting that you need help in the first place. Not a lot of people can say that.”

Kumon looked up from the ground to stare at Azami.

“Do you really think so?”

“Yeah, you’re a badass and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Mankai has your back bro and I’ll be the first one there to beat them up if anyone talks too much shit.” Azami paused. “Well, maybe I’ll be the second one there. Juza’ll probably get some fucking teleportation skills or shit.” 

Kumon felt warm inside, a smile slowly spreading on his face. Azami noticed the smile on Kumon’s face, causing him to smile himself.

“Come on Kumon, even if crying doesn’t hurt your skin, I don’t want you to do it too much. So, stop crying.”

Kumon wiped the tears from his eyes. “Thanks for cheering me up.”

“No problem.” 

The two were still staring at each other and Kumon could feel himself burning up. He was so close to Azami that he could see the other boy’s beautiful green eyes and long eyelashes. Azami smelled like lavender, which was very comforting. Green eyes stared at yellow eyes, neither of them wanting to tear away. 

However, Azami realized how close they were too, so he began to flush too, pulling away quickly. 

The two sat side by side awkwardly, a bit too close. Both of them refused to look at each other. Kumon’s brain was running faster than him trying to get back to home plate. Why were they so close to one another? What was with the staring? Why is he so embarrassed? Suddenly, Azami coughed, breaking Kumon’s train of thought, and stood up. 

“Anyways, let’s get out of this dirty-ass closet. I can feel my skin deteriorating just by sitting here.” 

Azami dusted himself, glancing down at Kumon with a cocked eyebrow. “Are you really just going to sit there?” 

Kumon looked at Azami, before slowly getting up. However, before the two left the closet, Kumon pulled Azami into a tight hug.

“Thank you. Seriously. I really needed that.” 

Kumon couldn’t see Azami’s face, which was more red than Sakuya’s hair. However, Azami didn’t pull away, instead he hugged Kumon back.

“You’re-You’re welcome. Glad that I made you feel better.” Azami sputtered before pulling away from the hug. He cleared his throat, his face still red. “Anyways… let’s fucking leave the closet. I swear that the dust here is drying up my skin.”

Kumon nodded and he reached to open the door. However, Azami also reached for it at the same time and for a brief moment, they were holding hands. They both withdrew their hands like something burned them.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry. I thought that I would open the door for you since I caused this whole situation.” Kumon apologized profusely, his face red again. Azami’s face somehow became more flushed. He grabbed the doorknob and swung it open. 

“It’s fine…” Azami muttered, covering his face with his hands. 

“Are you sure?” Kumon looked cautiously at Azami, who nodded.

Azami took a deep breath in and out. It didn’t help with his blush, but it did help steady his voice. “Listen, let’s just pretend that that shit didn’t happen.” Azami finally said after a few minutes of calming himself.

“Huh?”

“The hand-touching…” Azami gestured towards Kumon’s hand. “You’re not supposed to hold someone’s hand before marriage.”

Kumon shot Azami a confused look. “It’s an accident though? We didn’t mean to touch hands.” 

“Still, it’s inappropriate.” Azami buried his face in his hands again. “Please, let’s just pretend that we didn’t do that.”

“Alright. To my knowledge, we didn’t do anything but talk and hug in the closet.”

“Let’s not say that we hugged either… it could be deemed as scandalous if someone takes it the wrong way.” 

Kumon sighed, but he had a fond smile on his face. “Fine. We didn’t hug or touch hands. We just talked.” 

Azami slowly removed his face from his hands. “Thank you.” He shook his head vigorously, muttering something to himself that Kumon couldn’t make out.

“No problem. It’s the least I can do to repay you.” Now, it was Kumon’s turn to say “Come on, let’s leave the closet.” 

The two walked back to the dorms, both of them choosing to ignore the butterflies that they felt in their stomachs. They’ll deal with that later, whenever later may be. 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on twitter @gachakitakorejk if you’d like....


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